#only minimal control over. and that makes ot all so complicated. but it matters so much.
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ziracona Ā· 1 year ago
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I guess what should be considered with Marie is whether your character starts a relationship with her because of their shared past drawing him back to her, or because he just feels bad for what part of him did to her. I don't know about Marie, but the idea of someone hooking up with me purely out of pity would be awful, worse than a rejection. No one is obligated to start a romance they don't want to soothe someone else's pain. Of course it's all up to you and how you're playing him, godspeed
TuT everyone seems to hear my quandary as ā€œAm I responsible for this girlā€™s suffering and thus indebted to get with her to make her better.ā€
Thatā€™s really not it at all. Iā€™m not responsible. I didnā€™t do that shit. And none of this has ever been based on pity. Thereā€™s certainly a level of justice to it and whatā€™s right vs wrong in motivation, but fairness and pity ainā€™t the same at all.
Itā€™s not ā€œDo I have a responsibility to get with Marie?ā€ (Read: do I owe it to her to romance her to make up for what a part of me did?) ā€” its ā€œDo I have a responsibility to get with Marie?ā€ (Read: is this my dead wife?)
Thereā€™s a lot to consider. But. Idk why everyone seems to hear my distress as ā€œShould I pretend to be in love with this girl so I can right a cosmic wrong and heal her, because Iā€™m sort of a part of what did it to her and I feel bad?ā€ and it distress me
Iā€™m not a bad person TuT I donā€™t just think that way.
Itā€™s ā€œIf this is a part of meā€™s dead wife, who he destroyed and abandoned, am I to me Izanagi? And am I Izanagi to her? Because if so, that means sheā€™s my wife. It means Iā€™m a part of the person who abandoned her, but more than that it means I have a chance to be a better me. It means I have a ā€˜for better or worseā€™ and even if I donā€™t remember the me who made that vow, we are the same person, and that matters to me. I take it serious. I wouldnā€™t abandon my wife. If we are Izanagi and Izanami to each other, that is more important to me than my characterā€™s preferences or former plans. Thatā€™s my wife. I have a responsibility to her, and to myself. I have a chance to end the cycle of abuse. I have a chance to save someone. And even if I donā€™t remember her, and donā€™t remember making that promise, if we are to each other those two, it doesnā€™t matter, and itā€™s my wife memory or no. And I would put everything else aside for that. That isnā€™t pity. Itā€™s responsibility sure but not in a begrudging way. In a desperately important choice of love. I would chose the spouse a part of me vowed to love over everything, because theyā€™re me even if I canā€™t remember, and even if I never do. I would love and become who I need to be, because if thatā€™s my wife, it matters, and it will always matter. The question is if I have that responsibility, if I have that bond. Because I donā€™t know if I am Izanagi to her. And I know my thoughts and my answers, but you canā€™t tell someone they love you. And I donā€™t know if I am to her, and if she does, and I donā€™t know how to know. So I donā€™t know what to do. Itā€™s about what I want and who I am being tied to a determinate framework, and not having the other half of the equation, and if I have to guess, trying to figure out what the right thing is to do.
#and I feel like this will still somehow be misinterpreted as something itā€™s not#but idk how else to say it at this point#ask#anonymous#rā€™s p4 run#why does everyone think this is about guilt and pity. itā€™s about right and wrong and loyalty and partnership and values and identity#ā€˜you canā€™t tell someone they love youā€™ but isnā€™t that what youā€™re doing to yourself?ā€™ ā€” NO. itā€™s not!!! I love her regardless. not#maybe in the specifically amorous way but deeply. and I will regardless. but I canā€™t be her husband if she doesnā€™t view me that way. and#thatā€™s ok! if she would be happier moving on or just doesnt and we go on as friends thatā€™s fine! I am happy to become a new me or bring an#old me back to life and reinhabit him. I donā€™t like ā€˜wantā€™ to date her and donā€™t know if thatā€™s ok. I want to know what she wants#because that impacts what I do. Iā€™m a third of a person in this game. and I canā€™t make myself be the friend or the husband to her. I canā€™t#choose if people see me as the whole or the fragment or which fragment. I can only live the best I can as whatever I am#but regardless I want to do right by those a part of me is bound to. just what that means changes and it changes based on a framework I hold#only minimal control over. and that makes ot all so complicated. but it matters so much.#I would be just as happy as Ryung-gu the gay single guy into Kanji as I would Ryung-gu Izanagi the part god trying to love his wife gently.#but I donā€™t know what I am so I donā€™t know what to do. which to be which is right. which I am to anyone else. and I canā€™t control what I am#and am not. so Iā€™m under enormous stress
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