#only minimal control over. and that makes ot all so complicated. but it matters so much.
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I guess what should be considered with Marie is whether your character starts a relationship with her because of their shared past drawing him back to her, or because he just feels bad for what part of him did to her. I don't know about Marie, but the idea of someone hooking up with me purely out of pity would be awful, worse than a rejection. No one is obligated to start a romance they don't want to soothe someone else's pain. Of course it's all up to you and how you're playing him, godspeed
TuT everyone seems to hear my quandary as āAm I responsible for this girlās suffering and thus indebted to get with her to make her better.ā
Thatās really not it at all. Iām not responsible. I didnāt do that shit. And none of this has ever been based on pity. Thereās certainly a level of justice to it and whatās right vs wrong in motivation, but fairness and pity aināt the same at all.
Itās not āDo I have a responsibility to get with Marie?ā (Read: do I owe it to her to romance her to make up for what a part of me did?) ā its āDo I have a responsibility to get with Marie?ā (Read: is this my dead wife?)
Thereās a lot to consider. But. Idk why everyone seems to hear my distress as āShould I pretend to be in love with this girl so I can right a cosmic wrong and heal her, because Iām sort of a part of what did it to her and I feel bad?ā and it distress me
Iām not a bad person TuT I donāt just think that way.
Itās āIf this is a part of meās dead wife, who he destroyed and abandoned, am I to me Izanagi? And am I Izanagi to her? Because if so, that means sheās my wife. It means Iām a part of the person who abandoned her, but more than that it means I have a chance to be a better me. It means I have a āfor better or worseā and even if I donāt remember the me who made that vow, we are the same person, and that matters to me. I take it serious. I wouldnāt abandon my wife. If we are Izanagi and Izanami to each other, that is more important to me than my characterās preferences or former plans. Thatās my wife. I have a responsibility to her, and to myself. I have a chance to end the cycle of abuse. I have a chance to save someone. And even if I donāt remember her, and donāt remember making that promise, if we are to each other those two, it doesnāt matter, and itās my wife memory or no. And I would put everything else aside for that. That isnāt pity. Itās responsibility sure but not in a begrudging way. In a desperately important choice of love. I would chose the spouse a part of me vowed to love over everything, because theyāre me even if I canāt remember, and even if I never do. I would love and become who I need to be, because if thatās my wife, it matters, and it will always matter. The question is if I have that responsibility, if I have that bond. Because I donāt know if I am Izanagi to her. And I know my thoughts and my answers, but you canāt tell someone they love you. And I donāt know if I am to her, and if she does, and I donāt know how to know. So I donāt know what to do. Itās about what I want and who I am being tied to a determinate framework, and not having the other half of the equation, and if I have to guess, trying to figure out what the right thing is to do.
#and I feel like this will still somehow be misinterpreted as something itās not#but idk how else to say it at this point#ask#anonymous#rās p4 run#why does everyone think this is about guilt and pity. itās about right and wrong and loyalty and partnership and values and identity#āyou canāt tell someone they love youā but isnāt that what youāre doing to yourself?ā ā NO. itās not!!! I love her regardless. not#maybe in the specifically amorous way but deeply. and I will regardless. but I canāt be her husband if she doesnāt view me that way. and#thatās ok! if she would be happier moving on or just doesnt and we go on as friends thatās fine! I am happy to become a new me or bring an#old me back to life and reinhabit him. I donāt like āwantā to date her and donāt know if thatās ok. I want to know what she wants#because that impacts what I do. Iām a third of a person in this game. and I canāt make myself be the friend or the husband to her. I canāt#choose if people see me as the whole or the fragment or which fragment. I can only live the best I can as whatever I am#but regardless I want to do right by those a part of me is bound to. just what that means changes and it changes based on a framework I hold#only minimal control over. and that makes ot all so complicated. but it matters so much.#I would be just as happy as Ryung-gu the gay single guy into Kanji as I would Ryung-gu Izanagi the part god trying to love his wife gently.#but I donāt know what I am so I donāt know what to do. which to be which is right. which I am to anyone else. and I canāt control what I am#and am not. so Iām under enormous stress
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